Monthly Archives: March 2012

It’s Been Awhile

Okay, I know it’s been awhile, but I’ve been BUSY!!! Busy trying to stay sane! This whole I only sleep a total of 12 hours in three nights is exhausting! This week after those three nights of such little sleep, I slept 11 hours!!! I can’t even remember when I have EVER slept that long! When I woke and saw that it was 10AM, I was very surprised, I don’t even sleep that late when I’m on vacation and out dancing until 4AM.  Let’s just say I really needed it.

I’ve been feeling very unlike myself lately and am pretty sure it’s from the lack of sleep and wish I could get more but know that if I want to continue to work part time at the gym, it’s a sacrifice I’ll have to make right now for the bit of extra cash. It seems that I want to faceplant into a case of cookies by the end of the week. I don’t usually end up doing that, but I do find myself overeating other junk and I feel that I am sabotaging myself 😦  I need to gain weight to put on muscle, yes, but I don’t want to end up gaining a bunch of extra chub on top of it.

Later on today, I’m going to the Gopher Bodybuilding Show with a friend from the gym. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s hard work…….and I’ll more than likely torture myself by comparing where I’m at to where the females that are competing are at. Come on, I know I’m not the only one that does that.


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Do you ever feel that you aren’t going anywhere in life? Shouldn’t we be progressing?

In the past month, I have run into five people that I used to know, three from high school and two people that I used to work with. Every single one of them has asked, “Are you married yet?” and “What are you doing now?”. It has me thinking… my age (30), should I be married? Have kids? A career? My own house? A yard? A dog?????? I know we all choose different paths in life and there is no “right” path to follow, but I know that when I was younger I did not picture myself to be doing what I am doing right now and living back at home with my mom. I am here for a good reason (full time student with bills who can’t afford an apartment on my own anymore), but living at home seems like such a huge step backwards some days.

One of the guys that I ran into that I used to work with said something like, “Wow, it’s been like ten years!”……yes it has and I am still working for the same retailer 😦  Again, not where I want to be. It is a job, not a career for me. Shouldn’t I be in my career at my age? I feel that I am stagnant, that I am just sitting through life when I should be running and jumping.

I know that I am working towards something better for myself, but when I am confronted with questions about where I have gone in the last ten to twelve years there isn’t much I can say. Yes, I have traveled. Yes, I have lived on my own. Yes, I can say that I am back in school. It isn’t the norm, but what is the norm exactly? Not everyone that is married is truly happy and some feel that they had kids too soon.

I was talking to my cousin today who is the same age as me and has four kids. She has been married twice and is with a man that makes her truly happy. She loves each and every one of her kids so much, but when I told her that I was kind of glad for not having kids yet because I wasn’t ready to give up everything and be completely selfless, she confessed that she sort of wouldn’t mind not having kids. Her life would surely be different than it is now.

There isn’t just one path in life and choosing the one to the left when most travel to the right is okay. In fact, if we all did exactly as everyone else, there would be quite a traffic jam! All I’m saying is that what is right for someone else may not be what is right for you or me. As much as I would love to be working as a nutritionist now instead of being in school for it, I wouldn’t change where my life has taken me thus far. It has made me who I am today and I don’t think I’d want to be any different.