Monthly Archives: April 2012

Not Social!?

I wouldn’t consider myself a very social person. I like people and I am friendly but I think I can be a little awkward in social situations where I don’t know the people around me. What do I say, what will we talk about, will they judge me because of what I’m wearing (I’m a girl)……? Also, I am just more comfortable in my own personal bubble.

My boyfriend on the other hand is quite social and has a BOATLOAD of friends. They are all great people and I really enjoy being around them. When it comes to going out and doing things, I would typically rather be home hangin’ out. Especially if my man and I haven’t seen each other in a while so I can snuggle with him because I know that whether we stay in or go out, I will want to snuggle.

Case in point, we went out for one of his friends’ wife’s birhtdays’ and we ended up seated across from each other at the end of the table. Once we were done eating, I moved my chair so that it was practically on top of his chair and I draped my leg over him. I did it without even thinking that the person I had been sitting next to might be offended because now there was one empty spot at the table next to him where I had moved from and everyone kind of gave me a little grief about it…oops. But all of his friends there are married and see their spouses day in and day out and I miss seeing my guy. Anyway, off subject, back to not being very social……..

I am so used to staying in that when the opportunity to go out arises, I will hesitate to agree. Not because I don’t want to see people, but because I am so set and comfortable being boring in my own little world that it seems a little daunting. But here’s the thing, I ALWAYS enjoy myself! Even if the “event” isn’t anything spectacular, I always come home happy that I just went out.

I recently read another blog from someone who recently kicked cancer’s a$$. She gave three things she learned while going through as very difficult part of her life and her third tip has really stuck with me all day. It was “Be Social”.  She too said that she has never been a very social person and had to kind of force herself to go out and just like me, always felt better for going. So while at home in a super sterilized house because of here impaired immune system without too many people, she realized how important it was to be around and socialize with other people.

I think that because I work in an environment where I am around people all day and then say hello to people all night at my second job, I like the solitude of my own space. But I also know how good I feel when I am able to be around people (it’s also very nice to “dress up” every once in a while.)

So I am going to try and challenge myself a bit and get out there! Even if it’s just me and the man out for a run together. I will still fully enjoy being with just him snuggling in private, but it’s always nice to be out and about together to show off my stud 😉

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Today’s workout was ROUGH!!! Not because I was trying some crazy new stuff or anything, but because I ate too much before going and thought I might puke at any moment. Yes, I am still eating like I’m going into hibernation and won’t be eating for months. I don’t know what my deal is……oh wait,  I almost forgot about the stress in my life right now, GRRR.

I ended up eating a huge amount of almonds and then tons of chocolate this morning after I ate my breakfast and I was just going to skip the gym again today, but I was so caffeinated from the chocolate that I tricked myself into thinking I’d be okay. Lesson learned. My performance sucked and I felt horrible. One of these days I’ll regain my self control and and continue moving forward.

Something else that has been happening more frequently over the past couple of weeks is that I’ll start to feel dizzy and lightheaded after an intense set and like I may black out. I have been saying for a while that I need to go and get some blood work done because I’m pretty sure that my iron is low which means that my blood isn’t carrying enough oxygen. I have been putting it off because I don’t have insurance and am afraid of the cost. I’m also a little scared that they’ll find something worse than just low iron. I have just been feeling so off lately. On top of feeling lightheaded, I find myself short of breath doing simple things including just talking while walking these days and I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths to get oxygen lately. I am also extremely exhausted. I was at work earlier this week and felt the need to lie on the concrete floor to rest for awhile. This is very unlike me and it is very frustrating. I need to bite the bullet and at least call and ask for prices (like my boyfriend has been telling me to do).

In other news, my cousin from Wisconsin was in town yesterday and it was one of my aunt’s birthdays, so my cousin arranged a surprise for her. My aunt’s fiance recently opened a restaurant called Wyatt’s Twisted Americana in Hastings, MN so my cousin called all of our cousins and aunts in the area to meet there for dinner along with our Nana. She had no idea and was so happy…..and surprised ;).

It was so nice to see everyone. I even got to see my two younger sisters whom I see very rarely because of our equally busy schedules. My youngest sister recently turned 18 and got her chest pierced (a dermal) and a tattoo (2 tattoos?) of a set of black and white roses, one on each hip. My other sister had gotten a tattoo a bit ago but I hadn’t seen it until last night. I was a little nervous to see it because I don’t particularly like tattoos on the arms of females unless it’s a sleeve or half sleeve, but it was beautifully done and looked like a sketch of a geisha.

Fallen Off the Wagon

For the past couple of weeks I have been really struggling with my diet. I want sugar and fat and I’m quickly losing my self control……ok let’s be honest, my self control has completely disappeared. I have also lost motivation to get into the gym 😦  It’s frustrating for me.

I know that I am the only one that makes the decision for what goes into my mouth and it is completely my own fault for eating what I have been eating…..and drinking. Yes, I’ve also been drinking. Not a lot, but more than normal considering I don’t usually drink at all.

Very strange, but by the end of the week I want to drink. I don’t know exactly what it is but I can guess it is due to a combination of things…… 1) not getting enough sleep; I am still working until 11 pm twice a week at the gym and then 6 am most mornings at my full time job which means very little sleep is being had. 2) I am really hating my living situation as of late and it stresses me out just knowing that my moms’ husband is ALWAYS home. We got into it a few weeks ago and I have been extra stressed about living here lately. 3) Lack of money to move and also pay off my credit card from when I was living on my own previously while in school full time and only able to work part time so I charged EVERYTHING…..very bad idea. 4) Missing my boyfriend a LOT! Because our schedules are so busy, we aren’t able to see each other as often as I would like. I find myself missing him quite a bit.

I do have some good things happening as well. I was accepted into the U of M’s nutrition program and I’ll be starting in the fall!!!!! I am so stoked that it is FINALLY happening!!

My best friend that lives in Florida is graduating May 4th and as a graduation gift, she asked her sister to fly me down to visit!! I will be there from May 1-9 and am really looking forward to seeing her!! I really miss her!! Her sister will also be coming in from Guam for her graduation, so I get to hang with both of them!!


Kristen and I in Cancun in 2010....WOW! I can't believe it's been that long!! We used to go to Mexico twice a year.

She is student teaching 12th grade English right now at a high school in Florida and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She is  also getting an award from the College of Education! So exciting!!

Anyway, I MUST get back on the wagon and tighten up my diet or else my pants will get tighter……I split my pants at work a few weeks ago. It was not a proud moment, but I did have to laugh because that ish is funny.

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