Tag Archives: lifestyle

Not Social!?

I wouldn’t consider myself a very social person. I like people and I am friendly but I think I can be a little awkward in social situations where I don’t know the people around me. What do I say, what will we talk about, will they judge me because of what I’m wearing (I’m a girl)……? Also, I am just more comfortable in my own personal bubble.

My boyfriend on the other hand is quite social and has a BOATLOAD of friends. They are all great people and I really enjoy being around them. When it comes to going out and doing things, I would typically rather be home hangin’ out. Especially if my man and I haven’t seen each other in a while so I can snuggle with him because I know that whether we stay in or go out, I will want to snuggle.

Case in point, we went out for one of his friends’ wife’s birhtdays’ and we ended up seated across from each other at the end of the table. Once we were done eating, I moved my chair so that it was practically on top of his chair and I draped my leg over him. I did it without even thinking that the person I had been sitting next to might be offended because now there was one empty spot at the table next to him where I had moved from and everyone kind of gave me a little grief about it…oops. But all of his friends there are married and see their spouses day in and day out and I miss seeing my guy. Anyway, off subject, back to not being very social……..

I am so used to staying in that when the opportunity to go out arises, I will hesitate to agree. Not because I don’t want to see people, but because I am so set and comfortable being boring in my own little world that it seems a little daunting. But here’s the thing, I ALWAYS enjoy myself! Even if the “event” isn’t anything spectacular, I always come home happy that I just went out.

I recently read another blog from someone who recently kicked cancer’s a$$. She gave three things she learned while going through as very difficult part of her life and her third tip has really stuck with me all day. It was “Be Social”.  She too said that she has never been a very social person and had to kind of force herself to go out and just like me, always felt better for going. So while at home in a super sterilized house because of here impaired immune system without too many people, she realized how important it was to be around and socialize with other people.

I think that because I work in an environment where I am around people all day and then say hello to people all night at my second job, I like the solitude of my own space. But I also know how good I feel when I am able to be around people (it’s also very nice to “dress up” every once in a while.)

So I am going to try and challenge myself a bit and get out there! Even if it’s just me and the man out for a run together. I will still fully enjoy being with just him snuggling in private, but it’s always nice to be out and about together to show off my stud 😉

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Do you ever feel that you aren’t going anywhere in life? Shouldn’t we be progressing?

In the past month, I have run into five people that I used to know, three from high school and two people that I used to work with. Every single one of them has asked, “Are you married yet?” and “What are you doing now?”. It has me thinking…..at my age (30), should I be married? Have kids? A career? My own house? A yard? A dog?????? I know we all choose different paths in life and there is no “right” path to follow, but I know that when I was younger I did not picture myself to be doing what I am doing right now and living back at home with my mom. I am here for a good reason (full time student with bills who can’t afford an apartment on my own anymore), but living at home seems like such a huge step backwards some days.

One of the guys that I ran into that I used to work with said something like, “Wow, it’s been like ten years!”……yes it has and I am still working for the same retailer 😦  Again, not where I want to be. It is a job, not a career for me. Shouldn’t I be in my career at my age? I feel that I am stagnant, that I am just sitting through life when I should be running and jumping.

I know that I am working towards something better for myself, but when I am confronted with questions about where I have gone in the last ten to twelve years there isn’t much I can say. Yes, I have traveled. Yes, I have lived on my own. Yes, I can say that I am back in school. It isn’t the norm, but what is the norm exactly? Not everyone that is married is truly happy and some feel that they had kids too soon.

I was talking to my cousin today who is the same age as me and has four kids. She has been married twice and is with a man that makes her truly happy. She loves each and every one of her kids so much, but when I told her that I was kind of glad for not having kids yet because I wasn’t ready to give up everything and be completely selfless, she confessed that she sort of wouldn’t mind not having kids. Her life would surely be different than it is now.

There isn’t just one path in life and choosing the one to the left when most travel to the right is okay. In fact, if we all did exactly as everyone else, there would be quite a traffic jam! All I’m saying is that what is right for someone else may not be what is right for you or me. As much as I would love to be working as a nutritionist now instead of being in school for it, I wouldn’t change where my life has taken me thus far. It has made me who I am today and I don’t think I’d want to be any different.

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